Beauty in it all

I would like to explain something about my concussions to everyone. When I was a sophomore in high school my first set of concussions were so bad I lost a lot of memories from 8th grade and below. The only reason why I remember the good memories is because Joe Tomci took my old diaries, pulled out all the good stories, read them to me aloud, and then burned the bad stories.

I truly and honestly do not remember much of the bad that was done to me or the bad that I had done to others. I have heard from more than one person that i wronged them in the past. I would like to rectify these incidences to the best of my ability.

If I have wronged you please do not hesitate to tell me in detail privately. I want to understand. I want to make things right. All I want is for people to be happy and to feel loved.

Wow as I look through all of these dating site profiles I can’t help but think how lame some of them come across on paper. Almost every single guy said their ideal first date would be “Dinner and a movie”.  O hey that’s great because being in a dark room with someone I’ve never met before is exactly what I want to do. Yes, please butter my popcorn and “accidentally” caress my arm. That’s what every girl dreams of on a first date with someone you’ve never met. Also, it’s pretty unoriginal and doesn’t explain anything.  I’d rather you say “you know whatever” or “murdering babies”. I don’t care. Just be original and honest. Maybe you actually like going to the movies. That’s great. I do too. In my opinion not the ideal setting for a first date. How about you try to convince me why you like it so much. Then again I’m the dork who put this as my idea of the perfect first date.

“Go ice skating at the local rink. Then the lights go down, the disco ball comes out, and endless love plays over the speakers.


“Friends listen to ‘Endless Love’ in the dark” “

It’s true though. If a guy did this on our first date I’d probably get down on one knee and ask him to marry me. 

and this ladies and gentlemen is one of the many reasons why I am single.

A good play list can always out how a person is feeling.

Playlist 03-27-2013

I’m Not the Sun by the Arkells
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEFlDqszS9Q

Worth Waiting For by Beckah Shae 
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6NX1gmgYDM

Feel Love by Ben Harper 
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN55IsatC10

Because the Night by Bruce SPringsteen and the E street Band
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcqUSi8QPN0

Fire by Bruce Springsteen (Not I’m On Fire but FIIIIiiiiRE!
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5PoIrcyd34

These arms of mine by Jimmy Thackery and Tab Benoit  
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XaQLdRx9BU

Oh Boy by Duffy
     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYTIbmYNQkI

Superhero (acoustic version) by Family Force 5   
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g5LVvfkHQE

On Top Of the World by Imagine Dragons
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8PrTzLaLHc

Faith When I Fall by Kip Moore
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE2itle4y3c

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You by Lady Antebellum
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cv1nAw_D6o

The Beauty of Who you Are by Marc Broussard
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8EWhiiMgBc

Hope for me yet by Marc Broussard
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E0eqYNZ0ts

Baby I’m a Want You by Bread
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq3biClGRNk

I Love Your Smile by charlie Winston
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CmXgK_UggE

Chill out, relax, and love all today <3 

My extended family has struck again. Someone signed me up for a dating website. I succumbed. Whatever I’ll go with it. What’s the worse that could happen. This website is a lot better than the time someone signed me up for SugarDaddies.com behind my back. Ya that was awkward.

My issue here : Why is my family always trying to get me to date someone? They once went so far as to ask me if I’m a lesbian. I’m not and if I was it wouldn’t be a bad thing. I’m single partially because I choose to be. I’m not going to run out and get with the first guy that shows me interest. Contrary to popular belief there are guys that like me. Do I like them? No. Why? because I can’t see myself with them for the rest of my life. Heavy, I know. It’s not so much a marriage thing either. I literally look at the situation like this “Will this person be with me for a good chunk of the rest of my life?” This is a new thing for me. I used to overshare my life with EVERYONE. Random people on the street. “Hey lets be besties forever”. That’s great. That’s sweet. Then there comes a time in your life when you realize that you need people in your life for the long run. People who are going to be there for the good times and the bad times. The kind of people who will be both compassionate and blunt with you. People who love you for who you are at your core and want you to build upon that core. I guess in other words I’m picky. Yet, I’m open minded and have put my full trust in God with this situation. So if a guy comes along that’s not “the usual” guy I go for and my gut says “go for it” I’m going to go for it. Although, my gut is telling me to “go for it” in a situation and I’m all “Oh no no no”. Because he’s ugly? No, he’s a dreamboat. Because he’s lame? No, he’s like the sweetest/funniest person I’ve met in a long time. Because he’s nothing you want? No, it’s because he seems like everything I want.  Note, I said seems.  I don’t know him that well. We’ve never really had one on one alone time. I have this problem where I only see the good in people and cling to that goodness. You may say it’s not a problem but it is. See I cling to that goodness and then when something “bad” happens I get flipped upside down. I claim I don’t see it coming. Then when I take a moment to look back on it all the signs were there. I’m great at reading signs for other people. I’m horrible at reading signs when I’m involved. Knowing that about myself I force myself to look for signs and bad attributes. I can’t read him at all. Even worse, the only bad thing that happens when we talk is the silence I create. That’s right sometimes I get so caught up in the moment I become silent and just stare at him.  *sings* Awkward. 

Basically what I’m discovering : I need to let someone pursue me. I need them to make the move. A big move.  A move that I can’t deny is a move. I need to stop going over conversations in my head at night before I fall asleep. I need to listen more and talk less. I need to not care. Most importantly I need to not let me family bother me so much when they do something like sign me up for a dating website OR ask me a million questions about why I’m still single. I know they are only concerned out of love. I know they want me to have a billion kids. I know they want me to be happy. I am happy but they want me to have companionship. Someone who gets me. At least they care about my love life. Hopefully when I finally bring someone around they’ll be supportive. <3 

Why is it that no matter what I’m doing if someone sends me a picture of a baby animal I immediately stop what I’m doing and giggle? Is this something everyone does? Is it just me?

Seriously I can’t help it. I once lost a whole hour at work clicking through pictures of cute baby animals. someone sent me a link to a picture of cute baby hedgehogs and I just kept clicking through the site. FOR AN HOUR! I CLICKED THROUGH THE SITE FOR AN HOUR! Is this why I have no life down here?

Are these legal to have as pets? Because I want one. Don’t worry I would totally name him Sonic <3 

O hey look a baby alpaca kissing it’s momma!! *dies of happiness*

IS THAT A FUCKING BABY BUFFALO RUNNING??! SWEET BABY JESUS!! I WILL NEVER EAT BUFFALO WINGS AGAIN!!!

I laugh because when I grow up I will eat your face off <3 *baby voice* O well that’s ok baby crocodile I will let you eat my face off. Yes I will .

I just. I can’t. My brain. Is going to explode. All the cuteness. Om nom nom. Lettuce take you home baby hippo <3 Lettuce <3 

See folks that’s how it starts. One baby animal picture sends you into the depths of the internet for hours. We must put an end to this trend or else the world will fail. All productivity will be lost. Our nations will crumble. I long for the days when animals could scare your kids into being productive.